Thank You for Being a Friend

When a high school buddy took notice of my work and asked for a commission, I quickly fell victim to that nagging voice in my head that likes to try and convince me that I don't know what I'm doing, I'm not good enough, I don't have the chops to compete in today's art world. I knew I had to be intentional with my process, be honest with myself, and realistic with my friend and my own expectations for his project. I explained that the work I create is always one of a kind—I don't sketch beforehand, I don't prepare pages of thumbnails in anticipation of starting. I work best when I just dig in and get to it— to jump right in and put paint to canvas. It's risky to some, it's impossible to others. And yet, it's the only way I know how to yield the results I want. My instructions were for Jay to tell me a few colors he wanted included. From there, the rest of the project was up to me. Complete creative freedom. Jay had no idea what he was getting for a final product. He very well could have completely despised it in the end. And I tell you what— the fear of him hating it, the pressure—could make me crumble. So, I dove in, feet first, and honestly, it went better than any other commission ever has. Because I had total say in design, I had the mental freedom to let it flow. When painting this for my lifelong friend, I tried to keep him in mind, thoughts of school and his shenanigans, his antics, skateboarding probably or maybe just jumping from random heights - somehow that sticks out vividly.

The memories I have of Jay are fuzzy but I have never forgotten how he always made me feel valued, respected, and admired. Thank you, Jay, for our cherished friendship and your continued support of my creativity.